Really--This Is It

This is it. It really is. Even I'm getting sick of myself saying this is the last posting before I meet Shelly Callender in the Cook Islands. Like Gilligans Island, the Cook Island have no boat, no plane, no Internet. Not a single luxury.

But, this is it. And it only makes sense. Today is Ground Hog Day. The day I live twice. Right now it's Friday afternoon. Tomorrow it will again be Friday afternoon, but I will be sitting on the beach in Rarotonga.

This is the result of a Winter Over in Antarctica making vacation plans. When Shelly Callender and I were trying to meet on these small islands in the South Pacific, I kind of felt like it was two speeding bullets trying to hit each other in midair. The simple act of making vacation plans at the point when I still hadn't seen the sun, seemed unreal. To think my friend would fly from New York City to meet me, seemed equally unfathomable. It didn't go without a hitch.

Because I didn't want to get stuck in a freak Antarctic Storm, stuck on ice while Shelly was enjoying our vacation on the beach, we agreed to meet two weeks after I got off the Ice. I bought my ticket to leave New Zealand on October 21 and Shelly bought her ticket to meet me in Rarotonga on the 21st of October. What my sunshine deprived body didn't know was that I was crossing the International Date Line. Even though, according to the calendar, we're leaving on the same day, I get to the Cook Islands a day before Shelly. I suppose there are worse places on the Earth to have to spend an extra day.

Today I bought swim fins and a snorkel. Two weeks ago, I could walk on water, not because I was Jesus Christ, but because the ocean was frozen. Tomorrow, which is really today, I'll be sufficiently submerged in the ocean and alcohol. This was definitely worth being in the Dark.

The last couple of days I travelled from Dunedin to Christchurch. And I got lucky.

I was sitting in an out of the way cybercafe in Dunedin killing time before I saw the movie Brick (strongly recommend it--unless you're my parents) and Zoe, the person who worked at the store in Antarctica and sold me lollipops breaking my teeth, came and sat down next to me. She had been in Dunedin for a friend's wedding and was heading back to Christchurch the next day.

What was kind of weird was when she sat next to me, I was reading my friend Richard's blog about life in McMurdo (you can take the boy out of Antarctica, but you'd have to take the boy kicking and screaming if you wanted him to return Antarctica--right now). She took a photo and in pure blogosphere self onanisticness, sent it to Richard who posted it on his blog which I now refer you to.

The reason I got was lucky was because instead of making the trip by myself, I had Zoe riding shotgun. We stopped at an out of the way restaurant where the fish was caught and served from the same pier on the same day.

The photo card on my camera is full, so here are some random shots and comments that don't go along with some of the photos, but allow me to clear my photo card for pictures from the Cook Islands.

**on board the Doubtful Sound cruise a bloke from New Zealand and his mate were making fun of Americans for being fat. Specifically, "good on ya mate, aye, it's dem Texans who are as large as a pregnant kiwi riding on the back of a fur seal." I pulled out my Texas driver's license and said, "Be careful. In Texas we carry guns."

**Even the music at the "Mexican" food restaurant sucked worse than the guacamole. One of the songs that popped up (after 8 songs of reggae) was Silent Night Holy Night. Holy Shit. It's October. And the only thing that was silent was my lack of compliments when I walked out of the restaurant.

**In the fishing town with the round rocks, there was a car parked near the restaurant with a dog and a pet Magpie hopping all over the dog. I don't know what this means, but the inside of the car was covered in bird crap.

**Walking down the streets of Dunedin I started counting the number of old people who walked using a cane. In two blocks I saw 14 three legged senior citizens. I had to wonder if in 1927 the Burgermeister went through the hospital maiming every third child saying, "You will walk with a cane forever. This way you can never leave New Zealand and we'll always have someone (as gimpy as you may be) to tend the sheep."

**One of the Guests on the Doubtful Sound cruise brought his guitar along to entertain us. He and his over permed/bleach blonde wife passed out business cards that stated they were versatile in classics from the last 50 years. Claiming to know "Kiwi Australian and Country" music. The wife proudly pointed out, as though they were the ones who invented the Guttenberg Press, that their business cards were printed on both sides. I requested they play any song by Marty Robbins--specifically El Paso or Big Iron. They'd never heard of Marty Robbins.

Their dual sided card said they knew "Country" music. Isn't this like advertising a broad depth of knowledge about Australian music, but not knowing the words to Waltzing Matilda, Tie me Kangaroo Down Sport or Elton John's Crocodile Rock.

Posted by phil at October 20, 2006 05:35 PM